Love Yourself and Everybody will Love You
We all are seeking love in our lives. We want to have people around us they love and take care of us. But as we all know this is also an issue for everybody. It seems like we never can find the love we so desperately want, no matter how hard we look for it. Probably even ourselves, we are not capable to give love to other people. Because we are so busy finding it for us. And this is a chain. Everybody is looking for love but is not capable to give it at first place.
You must learn the art of loving yourself, first! Before you can love others or find the love you are seeking, you need to love yourself. I don’t mean a conceited love, what I mean is unconditional love. Love is the best medicine we can cure ourselves with. The amount that we love ourselves determines the amount we can love others and the amount we can receive. How much love do you have for yourself? Rate it between 1 and 10. Is there room for improvement? Let’s look at some ways to increase that to ten.
Loving yourself is not a Sin!
As kids, we were not taught how to express our selves and our negative feelings. We are not shown about self-love, about what greatness we have within us. In our families and society, we live in, self-love is equal to sin, to egoism. You have to give love to other people but not to yourself. But how you can give something you don’t have?
We grow up with that little voice inside the head saying that we are not good enough. What does that little voice say to you? Is it critical of you and your actions? If you’re like most people it probably is. This is human nature. Once you take it you can start getting it out of your way. Don’t resist this voice, let those thoughts come and go. When you let them flow through your mind don’t put any judgments on them. Accept them, acknowledge them, allow them to move through your mind. When you resist something it persists, so let it go.
Now you can start to change that critical voice within, to show yourself some love and compassion. You control that voice, why not show yourself some compassion. Everybody makes mistakes, we are not perfect, we are who we are. Look at mistakes as learning experiences. It’s okay to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made in the past. Laugh off any mistakes you have made. You don’t need to be critical of yourself. Make that voice a supporter of you, encourage yourself through this view. When a critical thought comes into your mind, turn it around. Turn it into a positive statement.
Self-love is not optional
Love is the overarching purpose of life – of self and others. Loving others is impossible without loving self. Wrong interpretation of self-love creates self-centeredness which is as bad as not caring person.
Louise Hay, an American motivational speaker, and author posited the idea of self-love by saying,
When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better, get the jobs they want, have the money they need. Their relationships either improve or the negative one dissolve and a new one begins.
How to work on loving yourself?
Loving yourself requires careful evaluation of your core beliefs and values; of knowing who and what, you are. It also requires the willingness to change for the better. Doing that is easy through these simple steps…
1. Accept yourself unconditionally
Some people profess to love themselves only after having achieved an imagined goal, i.e. health, wealth, good looks, marry the woman/man of his/her dreams or build a dream house. It won’t work because they may not happen or something comes in the way that alters the course of events of your life. Accepting yourself outright removes its conditionality. It lifts a heavy load off your chest; makes you more optimistic about everything around you.
It gives you a clearer idea of where you are and where you want to go and a better understanding and acceptance of the difficulties up ahead. You become self-aware and appreciate your values as a person.
2. Take the journey alone
You are responsible for the choices you make, no one else. If you screw up don’t blame others for the mess you are in.
More often than not, we blame so many things for our misfortunes, i.e., our upbringing, our circumstances, the people around us, our looks and many other things. We even blame the stars we were born under!
Not owning up mistakes will just make you miserable, bitter and pessimistic. It will stop you from giving it another go for fear of failing again. Nobody ever succeeded the first time around. Everybody has experienced the bitter taste of failure and defeat. Those who love themselves just brushed off their butts each time they fell, got up and continued the race. They believe they can take anything life throws at them and win. And they do. Those who don’t are the losers and will continue to lose until they come to grips with the ugly reality that their misfortunes are their own doing.
3. Start loving yourself now
You may delay, but time will not, and lost time will never be found again. – Benjamin Franklin
If you want to start loving yourself, start now, not tomorrow, next day or next week. Time waits for no man and you could never imagine your lost opportunities by not taking yourself seriously now. Starting now, make this your mantra, “I love… Me.”
As crazy as it seems you could never make anything with your life if you don’t. Conversely, the world is your limit if you do. Self-love is a choice by default. Meaning, you could never have it any other way if you want to live a happy, healthy and prosperous life.
Here are some quotes to keep you motivated on your path of unconditional love and growth…
Once you have learned to love, you will have learned how to live. Unknown
If you must love someone, may I suggest you love yourself? Beauty and the Beast
There is no significant difference in reality between one country and another, because it is always people you meet everywhere. They may look different or be dressed differently, they may have a different education or position; but they are all the same. They are people to be loved; they are all hungry for love. Mother Teresa
The birds are molting. If only man could molt also – his mind once a year its errors, his heart once a year its useless passions. James Allen
Refuse to receive anyone’s condemnation. In the independence of your own mentality, believe that you are wonderful. This is not conceit, it is the truth. Ernest Holmes
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball
If you need help to start loving your self start journaling about everything you love about yourself. Name some nice things you do every day, notice the resistant inside you. Hear this voice inside your head and write down everything. After you can read everything and put it under a microscope. Are they true? Who’s voice is this inside your head? Is it yours? or somebody else? Be there and understand.
If you need help I am here.
I love you guys!!! Stay on the good path!!!